今天，和他吵了。。。其实，并不想和他吵架。。只是，不明白为什么在他面前，我永远都表现得很幼稚，很无理取闹。。。之前的我并不是如此。。为什么现在的我会是这样？？我的理智去了哪里？
有时候，当冷静下来，我会想，难道一段感情久了之后，两个人就会变得什么事情都是理所当然的吗？现在的我们又是怎样？我们不算经历过很多事情，但，这段远距离的爱情不得不让我反复告诉自己要给对方多一点的空间和信任。。我想，也因为这样，时间一久，我们也不知不觉得变得一切都是理所当然的。。
当一切变的理所当然的时候，我开始觉得很害怕。。。开始变的很少沟通。。。以前，我们可以聊电话聊很久。。现在，这已变的少之又少。。。一方面是距离问题。。。
今天，我向他发脾气。。。这个举动是很无理取闹。。并不是我平时会做的事情。。我也不明白为什么自己会这么做。。但是，内心深处确实是很想要他多花点时间在我身上。。。毕竟，我也只是一个很平凡的女子。。有时也希望男朋友会在我生气时逗我开心。。。
可能，当一个人身边朋友多了，自然会花比较少的时间在远方的女友身上。。。好怀念以前当他还在澳洲的时候。。。我想那时侯的我是在这段远距离爱情里面，最开心的时候。。。但是，那时侯的他却很孤独。。所以，我也不希望他回到那个时候的状态。。
还有更讽刺的事情。。就是，虽然和他在一起已有四年多了。。但，我却还没清楚了解他。。。我也觉得自己很差劲！！！
心里面一直有这个感觉，就是。。。我是一个很差劲的女友。。我也不明白为何自己会这么想。。。我到现在也不明白为何他会爱我。。
现在的我，只想对他说：对不起，我不应该发脾气！

My 20th big day!!!!

oppprss...is almost a week past for my bday.....well..thanks for all the wishes n celebrations guys!!!!thanks!!!!erm.....this is the second year for me to celebrate my bday without my parents and my boyfriend....i still cant really used to celebrate it without them..fortunately, i have a group of friends who are willing to celebrate with me.....i have an unforgettable bday.......well,since this is the 1st 2X bday of mine..i have made myself a lovely cake.....haha...is copyright reserved..^^is a tiramitsu cake which i wish to bake since a long time ago....besides, i have become the "model" for showing the latest hairstyle for 2009 winter..thanks for my frenz who throw the cake on me...haha....

Lack of motivation

Is almost the end of the year....what have i done for this year?feel like my life is dull.....every day..i m doing the same things....i am wondering.....izit this is what i want?

Y cant i just learn from him....be simple...don't think too much..but...what is my goal?

Last Sunday...i have walked on the street....that is the 1st time i feel although the street was fulled of people...but i can't feel that i am part in it.....

I need the strength...Help!!!!!!